Telling a man no is a very delicate process for a lot of women. Even when I departed from the Worst Date Ever, I quietly said, “It was nice meeting you. I’ll call you,” and then vowed to never respond to him again as I walked away. Rejecting him to his face seemed like a dangerous move, and in a world where women have been stabbed for refusing to respond to street harassment, it’s a reasonable assessment to make.
You see, cisgender straight men, we women are taking massive risks by going on dates with you. Comedian Louis CK once described a woman going on a date with a man as being only able to date a half-lion, half-bear and going “oh, I hope this one’s nice.” Problematic though Louis is, this analogy is particularly apt for the risks women take in dating men. I don’t think men realize what a risk it is.
When guys complain that women aren’t always straightforward with our “no”s, I just sort of stare. Have you seen what happens to women who use a direct “no”? Have you seen how men, at the least, argue, and at the worst, murder us? Men have been training us to not use a direct “no” by punishing us when we do.
Small fucking wonder that women sometimes decide self-preservation is more important than you being immediately clear about whether or not we’ll go on a(nother) date with you.
1st December 2014
Notes: 29
Reblogged From vh1official
